I compare myself to others and yet these same people have their own struggles that I’m too absorbed in my own pain to see. I’ve been out with people who haven’t got two beans of integrity to rub together and I’ve still thought that they were better than me. It’s easy for me to think that you’re better than me because I’ve spent my whole life feeling inadequate. There are times when I don’t feel good enough to stand beside an ant. Or maybe you think that I think that I’m better than you. You see someone ‘like me’ and think that I haven’t got problems or that even if I do, I should be able to deal with it better because of some rationale you’re using to judge me. You don’t know where I’ve been, what I’ve seen, what I’ve felt, what I’ve yearned for and how I’ve experienced deep, intolerable, howling pain. If you did know me, you’d have to stop judging me If you did know me, you might want to stop knowing me. This time it’s about not being too quick to judge with assumptions and comparison. It’s been a few months, so I thought it was time for a new one. I’ve previously channelled ‘old me’ for Reflections: Knowing your own love and Reflections: Knowing your own approval.

Tags: comparison, I'm not good enough belief, looking for validation in relationships, people pleasing

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